


No Good At Good-Bye

by LiutenantMars



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Episode s2e05 I'll Stand By You, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23734687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiutenantMars/pseuds/LiutenantMars
Summary: Alex checks his watch again. He’s been sitting on the park bench for 30 minutes waiting for his phone to ring. It’s not like he and Guerin had set plans or anything, but his bus to San Antonio leaves in 3 hours. Guerin knows he’s leaving today. He thought Michael would at least want to say good-bye, at least let Alex say good-bye.But sometimes it's just too hard to say good-bye.AKA The day Alex left.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48





	No Good At Good-Bye

**Author's Note:**

> I loved the flashbacks we got during episode 2x05 "I'll Stand By You." I was curious how Alex knew Michael had been locked up for stealing hubcaps on the day he left so this is one possible interpretation of that day.

Alex checks his watch again. He’s been sitting on the park bench for 30 minutes waiting for his phone to ring. It’s not like he and Guerin had set plans or anything, but his bus to San Antonio leaves in 3 hours. Guerin knows he’s leaving today. He thought Michael would at least want to say good-bye, at least let Alex say good-bye. He shouldn’t be so surprised. He knows Guerin isn’t happy with his decision to enlist. But Alex is looking at least 4 years of hiding who he really is, is it so wrong that he wants one last kiss or a hug or just something? Something to remember the boy who had changed his world. A chance to say good-bye, or even just thanks. Alex pulls his phone out to triple check that he hasn’t missed a text or call, there’s nothing. He’s already checked the usual spots where Guerin parks his truck, but it wasn’t there. Suddenly Isobel Evans is stomping by, phone to her ear and a thunderous look on her face.

“Max! Why haven’t you been answering me?! Has Michael called you?” Isobel spits into the phone. Alex’s ears perk up at the mention of Michael. He knows it’s rude to eavesdrop, but he can’t help it. Isobel paces for a moment.

“Because,” she continues “I just overheard Deputy Valenti, he got arrested earlier..... I’m not exactly sure, stealing hubcaps or something.” Isobel lets out a frustrated sigh. “How would I know how long they’re going to keep him?...... I don’t know what’s gotten into him……I don’t know…” Isobel keeps talking but she’s walking away and quickly getting out of earshot. Alex knows he can’t just get up and follow her, even though part of him wants to.

After a moment it really sinks in. Alex’s stomach drops. Guerin is locked up. He’s not going to get to say good-bye. Alex feels so fucking stupid. Of course. Of course he’s not as important as some hubcaps. He’s known that. He had begged Michael to get it together and he hadn’t. Why should it be different just because Alex was leaving?

Alex wasn’t the sort of person who believed in signs, not really. But part of him had been looking for one, just something to tell him he had made the right choice. Here it was.

At the beginning of the summer he’d indulged himself in a harmless fantasy. He could save up a little more, get away from his Dad, head up to Albuquerque, get a crappy job and a crappy apartment. Check out the music scene while Guerin did the genius thing at UNM. If only he kept kissing him. Isn’t that what he’d told Maria? That he would have even stayed in Roswell for that. Could that really have only been a couple months ago?

It had been a dumb fantasy, Alex knew that. It had fallen apart quickly anyway, first when Michael had turned down the scholarship, then as he continued to cause trouble and get into stupid fights. Michael had always been a good guy. He could be surprisingly sweet. A sarcastic asshole sure, but still so good. Alex was the rebel, the one who’d thrown a punch at Kyle when he called him a fag. That had all changed. Sometimes it was like he didn’t even recognize Guerin anymore, like he was a different guy now. Some sort of wannabe walking bar fight. Alex didn’t know how to handle it, so he’d made a different choice.

Now he knew he’d been right. Alex had to get out of here, away from this town, away from his father, away from all the meaningless violence. At least in the Air Force he’d get to hit back on occasion. He’d learn things, how to be stronger, how to win battles. He would never let his father have that power over him again.

Alex needed to figure out his own way in the world. He couldn’t count on Michael for that. He couldn’t count on Michael for anything right now.

He didn’t blame Michael for spiraling a little, not after what Alex’s father had done to him, after whatever fight he and Max had so obviously had. But it was like Guerin was just wasting his life, and Alex couldn’t get sucked into that. Alex needed out. He’d tried to make Michael see, to get him to take care of himself. But he wouldn’t listen. And now Guerin couldn’t even hold it together long enough so they could have one last moment together.

Guerin was in jail, for petty theft. What an unimaginative bad boy cliché. He was in jail when he should be holding Alex, stroking his hair, telling him he would be missed. He should be promising to keep in touch, even though they both know they’d never be able to say anything real, not with DADT. He should be making some stupid sarcastic joke, or feeding him some cheesy line, just to make Alex smile. He should be standing in front of Alex telling him that what they had mattered, that he wouldn’t forget him, so Alex could say the same.

But he wasn’t. Alex wasn't going to get to any of those good-byes, Alex wasn’t going to get any good-bye at all. They had seen each other a couple days ago. Guerin had still been pissed but resigned to the fact that Alex was leaving. Michael’s eyes had been sad. If Alex had known that was going to be the last time they saw each other all summer… If he’d just known, he would have…

Alex reaches up to wipe his eyes before any tears can fall. Now _he_ was starting to spiral, and he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t cry about this here, on a public park bench by the gazebo. He couldn’t cry about this at all. There was no use dwelling on it right now. He needed to toughen up. He only had a few hours until he had to leave for basic. He had a made a commitment. He was responsible, unlike _some_ people. He could handle it. His whole life was about to change, and he didn’t need some pesky heartbreak distracting him right now. It was going to be hard enough as is.

Alex stood up, squared his shoulders, and headed home.

* * *

You would be surprised how much planning went into a crime when you wanted to get caught. Especially for a criminal genius such as Michael Guerin. He had to make sure he got caught, but not before doing something bad enough that he’d actually get brought in. It wouldn’t do him any good to get run off first or let off with a warning. He also had to make sure his truck was visible so that if he managed to get away, he’d still be easy to id. It had to be something that would absolutely get him locked up for a bit, but not bad enough that he’d be looking at any serious jail time.

All summer that dick Valenti had been showing off the stupid BMW his parents bought him for graduation. His parents who were cops, who would definitely want to know who did it if something were to happen to the car. Plus it would fuck up Kyle’s whole day. Two birds, one stone. He could have easily stolen the whole thing, even with the fancy security system, but grand theft auto would likely stick him with a year or two behind bars, and that wasn’t the goal today. Better to stick with the douchey hubcaps, fairly easy to remove even with his fucked up hand.

Michael would probably have to call Max for a bail out. He hated the idea of it. He hated owing Max anything. But he knew Max would help and he didn’t want to worry Isobel if possible. He was starting that new job at Foster’s soon, so he’d at least be able to pay Max back for the bail money. He didn’t need his charity. Michael knew he couldn’t call Max right away though, if he came in and got him too quickly, that would defeat the whole purpose. He had to be locked up until…well until Alex was gone. Michael knew what time Alex’s bus left. Alex hadn’t been subtle the other day, dropping hints about how much time they’d have for good-bye or whatever. Telling him exactly when he had to leave.

Michael knew Alex was always going to leave him, Michael wasn’t good enough, he was throwing his life away. Alex had a chance to get out of here and really make something of himself. But god, did it have to be the fucking military? Michael couldn’t picture it. Alex with his eyeliner, piercings, and his “fuck the people who hate me” attitude. The last time they’d seen each other Alex’s nails had been bare, and it made Michael feel sick. All the little signs of Alex’s personality were disappearing. Alex would even have to play it straight. Soon he’d be just like every other Air Force trainee at basic. Michael thought seeing him a uniform might actually blow his mind. But Michael didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want to wonder if he’d already taken his piercings out, if his eyes were wiped clean.

He wanted to be locked up when Alex left. It wouldn’t be enough to just hide from him. He’d lose his nerve and chase Alex down. Michael wanted someone else keeping him in, even though he knew he could easily break out of any cage they put him in.

Michael wanted to be locked up, no he needed to be locked up. He needed something to stop him from getting on his knees and begging Alex not to leave him. To stop him from asking why he wasn’t enough, what could he do to be enough?

How was Michael supposed to say good-bye? How was he supposed to listen to Alex say good-bye? Say “thanks for everything, but you’re too much trouble, so I’m done now.” How was Michael supposed to just stand by and watch _another_ person leave him?

He couldn’t, and so he wouldn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is the first fic I've written or posted in over a decade. Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.


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